I can imagine that we have all been shopping at one point or another, and come across the family with the screaming child. We may whisper, sigh loudly, or even be as bold to comment loudly on THAT MOM’s parenting skills.
Well, I am THAT MOM. Most people do not take the time to consider that perhaps THAT MOM , and god forbid, THAT CHILD are as miserable in that situation, if not more unhappy, than you are.
You see what you want to see, a spoiled child who is demanding something that they can’t have.
I see a child who is having a very difficult time processing all of the information being thrown his way, by a world he may not understand, and often times doesn’t like. I see a child with a sensory processing disorder, that makes even the simplest thing like a trip to the mall overwhelming, and terrifying.I see a child who just can’t handle any more of that day, who is fighting to regain control of a situation that he has no control over..
He sees lights that are to bright, and they hurt his eyes. He hears the loud humming of the fluorescent lights, and the squeaking of the wheels on the shopping cart, and he finds these unbearable. People keep invading his personal space (would you walk up to a strange adult, rub his head, and tell him how cute he was?). His hands are dirty, and all he can think about is getting them cleaned. He is frightened, and overwhelmed. He just wants to be somewhere where he feels safe and secure, and he needs to get there fast.
Being mothers, I am fairly sure, that most of you can sympathize with these kind of situations. Although most of you probably have those unique kind of people in your family to whom this entry is meant to educate!!!! (read mothers and mothers-in -law). My child is disabled, however I figured that this entry might strike a chord with more than a few of you!!! If you have yet to hit the “temper tantrum” stage, all I can say is good luck….hehehe. Here is the link to a super article by kidshealth that should help most of you maneuver through these “trying times” , oh and it’s also a pretty good link to send to “unique people” (see above)….http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/tantrums.html#
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank you so much for this post! My children don’t have any special needs, but I am still that Mom. I have a highly demanding daughter that just doesn’t understand that she can’t have everything she likes in the store. I can’t tell you how difficult it is to discipline your child when the whole sorld is staring at you!
As mothers I think we should all be supportive and empathetic in situations like this, rather than judgemental.
Agreed!!!!
I love you – for so many reasons, Michelle.
Feelings are mutual!!!!
I was THAT MOM last week (the ballroom at IKEA was closed – talk about a processing disorder!). A total stranger came up to me and said “You are such a good mom! This is a hard job sometimes isn’t it?”.
She will never know how much that helped me after all the hairy eyeballs from strangers…
Oh Christine, that ball pit is the cause of many meltdowns…
I am THAT MOM who is utterly freaked by germy ballpits and who never lets her kid play in them.
My kid is the one that yells as we shop through IKEA, “But I want to play in the cesspool!” LOL
The cesspool! I love it! (BTW, we immediately go and wash our hands with soap…)